It’s time for another transition: back to school

Shawna Johnson, LCSW Social Worker, Adoption and Guardianship Support and PreservationFor parents, the school year allows for a much-needed break after summer. However, for many parents and children, this is not an easy transition. This year might be especially difficult after the many changes schools had to adjust to for the COVID-19 pandemic. This fall might be the first time your child is going back to school full time, which can cause a lot of stress and anxiety.

We want to help prepare you and your kids for this transition back to school. You might be feeling a lot of stress right now, and that is okay. You are not alone!

Here are some ideas for you and your family as you make the transition back to school:

Begin talking about the transition back to school and prepare your kids.

No one wants to be surprised that summer break is over and that they have to go back to school. This is especially important for our kids that crave structure and routine. This is a big change from summer break, and you can acknowledge that for your child.

• Perhaps you can have a countdown to the return to school date or work with your child to begin practicing the morning routine for school.
• Try to have some empathy with your child during this time, it might make it a little easier for everyone.

Focus on connecting with your child before, after, and during this transition.

Have fun with your kids! Plan activities ahead of time and make them a priority. Even if your child has had a bad day at home or school, they still need connection.

• Try our family fun Bingo game! There are many fun, connecting activities your family can do on the bingo board.
• By focusing on connecting with your child, they will know they can count on you when they are having a hard time.

The transition back to school can also bring up issues with separation anxiety. Using connection before and after school can assist with this difficulty.

Set your child up for success at school by finding coping tools that work for them.

Take a look at the great resource in this coping toolbox. Work with your child to determine what coping tools they would like to try, and encourage them to practice using them. It is important to remember that if we do not practice using our tools, we will not know how to use them when we need them.

• A good way to start with your child is co-regulating with them. Scaffolding helps children learn new skills and reduces anxiety.
• If you are currently working with an ASAP therapist, they can also help you and your child with building a coping toolbox.

Manage your expectations for your child during this transition.

This transition is going to challenge you as a parent. Do not set the bar too high for your child right away. Expect difficult behaviors during this time, such as being oppositional or wanting to be in control.

• Be proactive and allow your child to have some control. This could be through offering choices, over parts of their schedule or after school activities.
• Remember to see the need behind the behavior, and then help your child to meet that need.

Have a clear routine each day.

As discussed earlier, many adoptive children crave routine and structure.

• Work on creating a routine for each day. This can include a morning routine, after school routine, and bedtime routine.
• Be sure to allow for connection points during each of these times. This could be joining with your child while they eat breakfast, being playful after school, or reading bedtime stories.
• If your child is struggling to remember the daily routine, perhaps they need a visual schedule to help them.

Work with your child to see what will work well for your whole family. You might find that your kid has some great ideas to help with their routine. Be willing to compromise on some of these things.

Do not forget to find time for yourself.

This might be while your child is at school or you might need to build in some electronic time in the evening so that you can have a break.

• If you feel like you cannot find time in your day for yourself, I challenge you to see if you can find just 5 minutes. During challenge times, you need self-care more than ever.
• Try making a list of things you can do for yourself, such as going for a walk, meditation, or watching your favorite TV show.

When you face a challenging day, think back to all the challenges you have overcome in the past. We believe in you! You are a capable parent and we are here to support you through this time.

ABOUT ADOPTION AND GUARDIANSHIP SUPPORT AND PRESERVATION

Adoption and Guardianship Support and Preservation provides home-based intervention to families formed through adoption or subsidized guardianship. Counseling, crisis intervention and 24-hour on-call assistance help address adjustment, grief/loss resolution, attachment, educational and emotional issues. This DCFS-supported program also provides therapeutic respite services, psycho-educational and support groups, workshops, and help securing resources.